I've been wondering lately if the growing distance between myself and my friends is my fault. I don't mean to run people off and I don't mean to shut them out but maybe that's exactly what I've done. I can't even remember the last time I was invited to someone's house just to hang out or the last time someone actually accepted when I invited them over here. It's a broad statement, I know. And I don't mean to belittle the amount of time that I do get to spend with the boy's and my mutual friends. I heart them so completely. But my friends. All... 2 of them, I guess. I dunno. I can't even remember how many friends I have or haven't.

All of this, of course, is coming out because it's my birthday in less than 2 weeks and while I would love to spend it with friends, I can't for the life of me think of more than a handful that would bother to show up. I don't guess that says much for me.